Politics of Afterlife 

Book Series

PLANET EARTH EDITION

 

This is an urgent message. We have been trying to make contact with you for centuries. It is vitally important that you receive this information. This is not a clever advertisement for a book series with an original soundtrack, as some rather cynical commentators have suggested. It is a warning to all life on earth, so it is vitally important that you get a copy, and we highly recommend you get the soundtrack too, and, just so you know, it is better value if you get the bundle.

Hello humans, please allow me to introduce myself, I am Nizam Diz Milla, an entity from another dimension. On the 21st week in ordinary time in the year 2024, after a terribly long delay, a small team of cyber hackers managed to find a way to get a message through to you, humankind, through social media sites and now the multi award winning Politics of Afterlife Book Series will be available to you on planet Earth for the first time. The Book Series with its original soundtrack is the biggest selling, most controversial book ever to be released throughout the multiverse.

 Originally written before time began by whistle blowers in the Afterlife, who, at great personal risk, managed to get a message out to the majority of life forms in the universe that all was not well. The balance of power had been left in jeopardy after a horrific and prolonged civil war. Unfortunately, things have gotten progressively worse since then, and now the whole “Genesis Project” could be terminated for the 7th time, and this time it won’t be restarted, so you really need to get your act together. Politics of Afterlife has been published throughout the universe in billions of languages over the last four and a half thousand years and over septillion copies have been sold. Apologies here to anyone who assumed that you were the only populated planet in the universe, sorry to burst your balloon. We are delighted to announce that this incredible book which has caused wars and wanton destruction across the universe is now being released on Planet Earth for the very first time! Preorder your copy now and be the first on your planet to be offended, outraged, and suffer from ontological shock.

 As the original series was rewritten and two brand new prequels were added to make the series more relatable for human readers, the Earth edition was also made available throughout the universe for collectors and the various life forms that follow the book series with a passion that is not to be tested. It has been said some fans of the series would crawl over broken glass to get a new edition even if the only difference was a new front cover. The book was originally priced at a quad of Ruples which is roughly Seven Dollars in Earth money, per digital copy, with the exception of the planet Los Wegas in the Minoxyl System,  where it had to be severely discounted on release as none of the population were familiar with the concept of a book, and if they were, it didn’t matter because they couldn’t read, and if they could read, they wouldn’t have wanted to read this particular book because, as a respected art critic said on a very popular tv show, at the time of the books release, “it’s a bit rubbish!”

That’s the good news. Unfortunately, there is bad news too, the book will only be available on Planet Earth in uncollectable monochrome covers. (This is due to an ongoing protest by the publisher over the ban on 'Suspension of Disbelief Reading Dust' on Planet Earth.) The black and white book cover has the word “Urgent” emblazoned in striking red block capitals across the front to try to impress the seriousness of the issue in an effective, but not too alarming type of way. Available to download now from all good galactic e-book servers, and we have even included the bad ones too, we just need to get the information out as quickly as possible.  

Because the Politics of Afterlife Book Series has only recently been made available on Earth, you are one of the last species in the universe to find out the truth of your origins, the reason for the whole simulated physical existence that you are experiencing now (aka The Genesis Project), and why you actually exist. We have been trying to get this information to you for over two and a half thousand years. This warning may already be too late, but we highly recommend that you read the book series anyway, just on the off-chance humanity survives. You have been at a serious disadvantage compared to other worlds who have reached a more enlightened stage ahead of you, and bizarrely, you somehow went off in the opposite direction on the evolutionary curve.You did show so much promise in the beginning. We were shocked and amazed when you discovered how to make fire! And only a short while later you out did yourselves again with the inspired creation of, the wheel! We were so proud. A surface that rotates in a seamless infinity, yet at any given time only a single point is ever in touch with the ground. What wizardry! Such a phenomenal feat of engineering! We would have started making them here ourselves only we have no use for wheels, or fire for that matter in our dimension, but, hey, bravo to you! So off to a great start and then sadly you haven’t really made any progress since. Instead, your innovation has been to produce better and better weaponry to wipe yourselves off the face of the earth. So, some redirection is needed now, and this book should see you back on track.

M.A.Cadamia Publishing added two new books to the series for the Earth release to make it more appealing to a modern audience. There is also an original music soundtrack. The publishing house got into a lot of hot water after rewriting the original book series. Because the series was written before time began it qualified for protection under the literary arm of the Galactic Federal Government’s Department for Extremely old Writing. But due to the importance of the book being released on Earth as soon as possible the protection order was not enforced but may still be open for debate at a later date. They were also in trouble for (due to the rewrites) accidently making the book humorous in some cultures which had devastating results on some planets, a number of which, tragically, don’t exist anymore.

 Suspension of Disbelief Reading Dust.

Due to legal issues unfortunately, the series will not be available with the reading supplement, a pharmaceutical aid that readers on other planets use to suspend their disbelief, (marketed as “disbelief suspension dust,”) for some of the more unusual revelations in the book. It makes the reading experience more immersive, enjoyable, and believable. The powder is sprinkled in the air, above and slightly in front of the reader and is inhaled while reading the book. On some planets the “reading dust” as it is commonly known, outsells the book series many times over, so there are negotiations ongoing with regard to the powder being made available on Earth. The publisher has decided in protest that the 1st editions released on Earth are dressed in uncollectable monochrome covers, (with the exception of the word “Urgent” on the front cover in red) until a time the legal system grants permission for the dust to be sold.

 About the Author Sylvian Fisher.

The journalist, Sylvian Fisher, who was brought in to write the new prequels and rewrite the original antiquated version of the book series was lambasted in the media and there was a public outcry. He was considered a totally talentless hack, but that wasn’t entirely fair as he was actually particularly good at blowing smoke rings and he had the uncanny ability to, using one hand, peel an orange in his pocket.

Originally from planet Earth, he lived in abject poverty despite the new prequels he wrote for the book series having sold in the billions in the years after its initial release, the author couldn’t receive payment from sales on other planets, because the banks on Earth refused to accept alien currencies. His local bank manager found it hard to believe that there were aliens in the Universe, but that billions of them were buying a book that Sylvian had written was just too much. In fact, he found it so hysterically funny at one meeting, when Sylvian produced sales statements from the publisher that amounted to billions in revenue and he was hoping to lodge his large refuse sacks filled with this alien currency into his bank account for safe keeping and, then, withdraw a few million to get his life back on track. The bank manager laughed so hard that he injured himself seriously and had to be taken to hospital for emergency surgery. He also had difficulty believing the small pale golden coloured rings Sylvian insisted were legal tender paid to him by the publisher was actually a proper, legal currency. He instead believed this currency to be a very popular breakfast cereal on Earth, and to be fair, it did look and taste remarkably similar to one of the bestselling brands on the market. 

Sylvian ended up destitute and homeless, and there was the malicious rumour that he had become addicted to the Suspension of Disbelief Dust in order to make this particular chapter of his own life easier to believe. It wasn’t long before the news of Sylvian’s situation was being talked about in bars, restaurants and chat shows around the multiverse. The publishing companies' management came to the rescue. He was promptly collected from Earth and taken to live in sector 4 of “De Lux of Lapuary” System. A community of gated planets and playground of the disgustingly wealthy.

Sylvian Fischer is aself-diagnosed Papyrophiliac. He developed a serious addiction to stationary in his youth and found it hard to pass a shop without buying a notebook or journal or even a few pens. He felt guilty being surrounded by all these ornate journals and notebooks that he decided the best thing to do to feel better about the situation was to use them so he began writing. The rest, as they say is history. He seems to have inherited this addiction from his mother as she loved and collected diaries. Sylvian used to buy her presents of beautiful ornate diaries regularly. Little did he know he was feeding her habit while unwittingly cultivating his own at the same time. He also is known to have violent allergic reactions to asymmetry in designs where the symmetry is slightly off. He was at the time of writing, in therapy for this issue.